Things first started being illegal in human society once my grandfather killed a man for putting his pet midget in a headlock. That was the first illegal thing as far as the American people knew it and it has been forever after. The man put into the headlock was none other than Warwick Davis who would go on to star in such roles as Ewok in Lord of the Rings as well as "Short Man" in the second to last James Bond movie where they tortured a spy.
Illegal things have plagued society for years now. They make it harder for mothers to raise good people and it's tougher for farmers to yell at their plants. People in the old times used to own guns and shoot each other but that's illegal now and now people just steal small pieces of flesh until their enemies die unawares and without bullet wounds.
Other illegal things include: stealing cable television, buying humans, importing the wrong kind of fish into chinese harbors and generally being uncool. Being completely uncool is the most illegal thing known to modern society today because it means you don't fucking understand anything and you should just fuck the fuck off.
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